“You need a bigger house,” my friend said.

That one phrase haunted me, but did she know I came from an apartment where our neighbors cockroaches seeped into our very clean apartment. Did she know I came from a single wide trailer where when it rained, we had a bucket to collect the rain drops. Did she know that escaping and overcoming poverty and helping others was my main reason for going to college at 17, working three jobs to put myself through @uncchapelhill. She did not know because I don’t talk about my story much anymore! Almost 20 years later, I don’t need more! God has given me and blessed me beyond what I could ever have hoped or dreamed of!

I think a ton of people look at us, or may look at you and say “YOU NEED MORE!” Society teaches us that fancier cars is better, bigger houses is better, going into debt is better. What about thanking God right where you are!? Being grateful right where you are!

You see my dream isn’t a bigger house but to buy a house for a single mom. My dream isn’t a fancier car but to buy a car for a mom in need. This idea that we need more, need to do more, need to hustle more, need to make more? I get it because you know what? I want to make more too to give more away!

So this #minimalist journey that I’ve been on is God just revealing my heart for stuff and not people (in the past). And by being able to get rid of stuff/declutter my physical space, God is teaching me...I don’t need more space. I need more of Him so I can love others more. I want to make room in my house to sit with people and love people more. I want to make room in my budget to give more. I want to make room in my schedule so I don’t feel so rushed, overwhelmed and tired. I want less so that I can give more. So I’ll give you my stripped down kitchen. Mix matched appliances because a new restaurant was more important than new appliances. The ability to feed kids in need when schools were closed was more important than painting our chipped cabinets. Our house is perfect. And so is yours friend! Let’s lean into less today friends! And here are my 5 Ways to Lean into Less!

5 Ways to Lean into Less.png — 5 Ways to Lean into Less

Lean into less in your thoughts and mindset. For me, minimalism was a huge mindset shift. Growing up poor, I always wanted more for my kids, more my family, and NOW we have so much more! But then with wanting more, I always wanted more, and each time we accomplished one goal, I moved the scale to something else. And I’m not saying that’s wrong if you do that, but for me, I lacked contentment inside. And it started with my thoughts. The bible says,
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2.
So ask God to help transform your mind and thoughts daily. It’s so easy for me to be consumed when I see something on Instagram or Facebook, but I have to constantly remind myself to be content! So it starts in your thoughts and mindset and being content and grateful right now! Being content with your home right now, NOT when it’s fixed up! Not when it’s immaculately cleaned. Not when it looks Pinterest ready. But right now! With Cheerios on the floor. With toys on the floor. With cat hair on the couch. Lean into it. This is the season God has you in so be content TODAY!
Lean into less in your home! Omg, y’all! This has been such a journey for me. Decluttering and minimizing has been such a journey. But once I had the mindset shift, I began to feel ok with less stuff. Goodness, I became more than ok with less stuff! I began thriving with less stuff. We began to feel joy with less stuff. My anxiety went down with less stuff. So here’s what we do. We go through one area per day or week depending on the season, and focus on that area! One day, it’s one cabinet in the kitchen. Another day it’s the boys shirt drawer in their room. We take it slow so we don’t get overwhelmed, and it feels so good to just accomplish one area. My boys don’t need 50 shirts in a drawer. So I gave them each 12 (because they play sports this works for us). Lean into less to make room for more time with the people you love. Lean into less in your home so that you can make room on the couch for conversations and time of fun and laughter!
Lean into less with your activities. Oh boy, y’all. I’m about to step on some toes, but can I just say….I had to learn the hard way here. So when our oldest daughter was young (and we only had her), she was in every activity known to man. Gymnastics, dance, piano, Spanish, you name it. She was in it. AND all in one season! My husband and I barely spoke a word to each other because he was always on the road looking over restaurants, and I was all over town taking our daughter to every activity under the sun. For us, it impacted our marriage because we did not have time together. So now, we lean into less activities, one per kid AND less commitments as a family. Yes, we enjoy serving our local church because that’s important to us. That’s a core value of ours. We have had to say, “Does this activity align with our core values or take away or hinder us from the family that we want to become!” The activity needs to align with our core values and vision of the family we want to become daily! I love love love people as an #enneagram 3, but I don’t need to schedule 3 coffee dates in a week, while homeschooling, running multiple businesses, worship rehearsal, travel baseball, and all of the things. It just isn’t wise for me in this season of life. I had to learn to be ok with saying, “No” and not feeling guilty or giving a reason if I didn’t feel compelled to give one. Learning to say NO was difficult but so freeing and necessary for my own personal growth. Lean into less with your activities so that you have more time to give to the things that God has called you to AND the people God has called you to!
Lean into less with electronics and social media. So confession, I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I can go on a fast from it for 6 months, and feel absolutely spectacular. And then other times, I love posting daily to my stories, scrolling through Instagram and liking all the photos of babies, weddings, and all the minimalism and budgeting things! But something I did over a year ago changed my world. I turned off all phone notifications: messages, emails, Facebook, Instagram, all apps. If I wanted to see a message, I had to click on it. My friends knew if they wanted to reach me quickly, they needed to call me or else I would miss their message. For over a year, I’ve done this, and praise Jesus, we have not had any emergencies! BUT if there is an emergency, my husband and friends know to call me or come over! By leaning into less with electronics and social media, we make room for connection, relationship building, and really focusing on the things that truly matter. Now, I’m not saying give it up completely, but lean into less so that you can focus on “the more”….whatever that more is to you! More time to blog. More time with your spouse. More time with your kids. More time to focus on budgeting. More time to clean. More time to invite that friend over who looks and thinks differently than you!
Lean into less with your finances. So this was a hard one too for me. When I went off to college at 17, I had no clue about money, budgeting, debt, any of it. I learned on the fly. Went into credit card debt, student loan debt, and all of the things. When I met my husband as a senior in college, he was six years older, debt free, and in his career. So when we got together, he tried to teach me, BUT I wasn’t VERY teachable. :) It took Jesus, Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University THREE times in order for me to jump on the budgeting and debt free bandwagon! THREE TIMES! But this December, we will be CREDIT CARD debt free! Paying off close to 20k in credit card debt in just under 2 years! Come on God! So it is possible no matter where you are with your finances! So what does leaning into less with your finances mean? For us, it’s getting rid of the things that don’t align with our values and financial goals. So in the last year, I cut out $110 a month in hair salon so that I could put that towards debt. I kept my nails budget up until Coronavirus, but for us, keeping both was not leaning into less with our finance goals. Another way you can lean into less is learning how to do more with less. What can we do as a family that is free? What do we enjoy doing as a family that does not require a ton of money? Hiking! Biking! Taking walks! Going to our State Parks! Lean into less in your finances by choosing to be content with watching a movie together. Lean into less with your finances by committing to only purchasing things that align with your values, things that bring you joy, have purpose, and that helps your family become who God has called each of you to be! For us, we keep a few more snacks and juices because we want to be able to feed neighborhood kids who drop by. That’s important to us. That’s a core value to us. So we put that in our grocery budget and try to find sales around making sure to have a little extra for kids.

We may not have the biggest house in our neighborhood. We may not have the latest kitchen appliances or countertops. But we are so thankful for this amazing life that God has given us. We don’t need a new house. We don’t need a bigger house! We NEED LESS! We need less electronics, less social media, less stuff, less clutter in our thoughts and mind, so that we can focus on the things GOD wants us to focus on AND the people that God wants us to impact! When we lean into less, we have more FREEDOM! And that’s worth fighting for each and every day!

Until next time friend,

Shelly